A spiritual journey with the Masters of Light and Love
Great if it inspires you… nothing else is needed
It all started when I made this prayer, “from now on You will decide what is best for me”
It was in 1997, in the middle of a storm that separated me from my family. I was in Greece at the time and in search for answers to the purpose of a life in so much pain.
A friend offered me a book called “A Course in Miracles”. It will be my teacher and transformer for 2 years. During this process my smoking stopped and many other things changed, especially my capacity to say Yes to what is impossible to say Yes to!
The day I finished the book, it was autumn 1998 in the evening, I went out from my little house in Greece and it was raining for few minutes even there was not a single cloud in the sky. My body was in bliss and I heard a voice saying, “Thank you that you trusted Me”. Who was this Me I trusted? It was the first time I heard a voice!
One year later my knees are in great pain. At the time, I had a windsurfing and sailing school on the Island of Kos and twenty years of intensive sport have left their marks.
I go back to France and I have the choice between two knee surgeries or an alternative solution. I felt to combine my search for a spiritual teacher with a possibility of help for my knees maybe with yoga or any other solution to avoid surgeries. India felt like the most appropriate place for that.
I looked on the net and made a list of spiritual teachers, trying to look for the not so famous ones, because my perception of a spiritual teacher was that of a one to one communication and not with thousands of others and then I booked my ticket (to Freedom) to India.
My initiation with India was a bit of a shocker. I arrived in the middle of the night in Bombay and I asked a foreigner who looked as if he had been here before, how to go to the bus stand for a possible trip to the South. He said “no problem, just follow me, I go the same direction”. We take a train towards the city. The train was so packed I had never seen anything like it. At the first train stop, suddenly I heard “Shit!!!” and the foreigner disappeared from the train. I had no idea what happened and I was really scared. The train starts rolling and he is not back? His luggage is still on the train! As the train goes a bit faster I see him running and jumping back into the train; His shirt is ripped apart and he has blood on his hands and face. With a smile he tells me that someone had stolen his wallet and that he ran after him and after a short fight he could recover his wallet. Wow!!!
While on the bus towards South India, I heard again the same voice I heard in Greece one year earlier, saying to me; “Thank you that you have come”. I experienced suddenly so much Love that I could not stop crying for half an hour. Absolutely incredible!!!
My first stop was Gokarna on the West coast underneath Goa. Here I started my first Hatha Yoga course and also I met my first Swami. He had a beautiful orange robe but I felt nothing in his presence and started wondering if this swami thing was all just a myth. He offered to be my teacher if I supported him financially, etc...
I looked back to my list of Swamis and I decided then to leave for Bangalore to the Art of Living ashram of Sri Sri Ravishankar. There I stay for three weeks taking part to the release and breathing programs. I have my first darshan of Ravishankar, he looks into my eyes for a long time. Later his devotees thought this to be a very auspicious sign and that I should stay here. I felt to continue my journey further to see the hugging Mother “Amma”. She is on the top of my list.
I take a bus to the South and then a boat in the backwaters up to the ashram of Amma.
Wow! I have never seen such devotion and beauty before. Amma radiates Love and Compassion. This is more like what I thought a Swami is. From next day my body feels very sick for a week and I spend most of the time in bed. At the time I could not relate inner healing with been or feeling sick. Today I know that it is part of the blessings of been with a teacher. Their Light dissolves our impurities.
I spend 3 weeks with Amma; even it was fantastic I felt a bit sad because I could feel that she is not my main teacher, Sadhguru. So I leave further South, not too sure where. On the ship I meet an elderly Australian man who tells me of a young Swami near Trivandrum with the name of Swami Isa. He is supposed to manifest objects out of fine air! I was told of a swami called Sathya Sai Baba who does that too?!
I stayed few days with Swami Isa. One day He manifested a japamala for me. It was all sweet but here also I knew He his not my teacher and I continue my journey to the South of India.
While reading a local newspaper in the train, I see an organization offering Yoga classes in a little village near Kanyakumari.
The yogi conducting those classes interviewed me and told that I am not suitable for his group. I had already left the place, suddenly someone came running behind me to telling me that he will take me!
I stayed about 3 weeks with this beautiful yogi (45kg only!) called Dada Jyothi from the Anandamarg organization. We were 7 students with him going from villages to schools offering free yoga classes to poor people. In few days I had become the main tool for Dada Jyothi to have the villagers attention. White people were rare in this region so Dada Jyothi would ask me to present the Yoga classes as it would attract many people. It was really incredible; I would present all the asanas Dada Jyothi told me to do and sometime he would push my head just 10 centimeters lower as I could and the crowd would give a big applause of admiration and then they would all join!
On the last day with Dada Jyothi, he asked me to come in his room to tell me that Bhagawan had told him my spiritual name; from now on you will be “Tapas”. He said, “Tapas is the one who has the knowledge of meditation”. It is only later that I understood a more important meaning to Tapas! He also initiated me to use a mantra...
After Kanyakumari I travelled by bus to Auroville. I fund a nice little hut near the beach and started a 3 weeks process of nourishment with light; one week with no water and food and two weeks with water only. This was my second time, I had a first experience in Greece one year earlier (Please don’t try this without appropriate support and guidance). The climate and environment made it a lot easier than in Greece but I also knew this is not my path in this life (I am just eating a delicious Greek yoghurt with thyme honey while I write this!).
One evening in Auroville I meet a Russian man who tells me of his experience with a swami called Sathya Sai Baba; He told me, “I wrote a letter with a single question and at the same moment Sai Baba took the letter, He spoke to me and gave me immediately the answer to the question!”, “He is God!”.
Sai Baba is last on my list of Gurus, maybe I will go later to see Him?
After 4 weeks in Auroville I leave for Bangalore (now Bengaluru), as I have an appointment with a well-known palm tree reader. He is supposed to have ancient palm tree leaves with writings about the lives of thousands of people . After a wait of about 2 hours (I am used to it, it is the same in Greece), he invites me in his office. He says immediately, “you are a healer” and I answer “no”. He says, “Do you understand English? You are a healer!” and again I answer “no!” He goes out and comes back after few minutes. He says, “Do you know Sathya Sai Baba? , I say “no” and again “you are a healer!” and me again “no”. That was it! He asks me to leave.
I certainly heard of Sathya Sai Baba, I was even offered a picture of him few weeks earlier on Christmas Eve, but as I heard that He his the most famous guru in the whole of India I wondered how He could help and guide so many millions of devotees. And as been a healer, it is true that the idea came to my mind a lot lately of wanting to do healing work, I even studied for one year to do the Heilpraktiker examination in Germany in 1998, but I don’t know Sathya Sai Baba and I am not a healer.
I leave for Rajasthan and spend a lot of time in Jaipur, Samode, Pushkar and Udaipur. I feel like home and I am in Love every day more with India.
In Pushkar I meet a young lady from Alaska (I always thought she must have been an angel), and she guides me back North to Jaipur to do a 10 days Vipassana retreat. Thanks to the daily Hatha yoga practice, my knees have improved a lot and I can imagine a future without surgeries, but sitting in meditation for hours without moving is an incredible torture. During the first 3 days I spend most of time between the meditation just to try to stand up because my knees hurt so much, while the others have relaxing walks outside. The pain is so intense… I pray the whole time for help...
Then on the fourth day, there is like a crack within me and all the pain in my knees disappears completely. Even sitting for 2-3 hours in meditation, I feel no pain anymore, a real miracle.
I also realize that the technique of Vipassana meditation, sensing or listening within is something I have had my whole life but I never understood what it was. Since I was a child I can perceive changes within me and other persons even if they are at a far distance.
I always tried to suppress it because it is not the most comfortable experience to feel when someone is sick , so I denied this sensing from my life until I realized through Vipassana that it is a gift!
My 6 months visa comes to an end I go back to Greece to prepare another summer season at the windsurfing school.
The whole summer in Greece I do yoga asanas and my knees feel great but I can’t stop thinking about India… I would like to go back to do 6 months Yoga asanas with the Yoga master Sri BKS Iyengar from Pune.
In November 2000, I am back in India!
I feel as if India is within me. I understand when I hear sometime from other travellers; “You love or hate India there is no in between”.
On my bus trip from Bombay to Pune, I hear the voice for the third time; it says “I am so happy that you have come back” and the same energy as the two first times, and again I bathe in bliss, gratitude and tears…. But who is He who loves me so much? My teacher? The clarity, the intimacy; how is this possible? Obviously He must be somewhere in India!
As so often in India, my plans are put upside down! I meet the Yoga Master Sri BKS Iyengar in Pune and he must be in his “I am in a very bad mood” day, and there is no place available in his yoga classes and he shows me the door immediately! All is perfect!
I decide so spend some time in the Osho ashram in Pune, trying all the possible release and meditation techniques available. After a month I feel to continue my journey towards Bangalore and Chennai.
Arriving in Bangalore, I thought to go to Puttaparthi so see Sathya Sai Baba for 2-3 days. I don’t have much expectations more curiosity. A teacher with millions of devotees; I cannot understand.
First, I spend a night at Nandi Hills and then next day I go to Lepakshi and then to Puttaparthi in Andhra Pradesh.
Sathya Sai Baba has just left for His ashram in Whitefield. I thought that must have been it with Sai Baba and I immediately take a bus back to Bangalore. In the bus I meet some Sai devotees and they all tell me, that I must come to Whitefield. Okay why not.
We arrive late at the ashram, so there is no more darshan of Sathya Sai Baba today. Again I want to leave for Chennai, but then I decide to stay for a night to see Sathya Sai Baba next day. Thousands of people from all over the world are here to see Him? I try to stay in a state of perception even if this circus makes me wonder a bit?!
Next morning I follow the queuing procedure and end up at the far end of the mandir (the temple). Sai Baba comes out and walks through the crowd collecting letters, giving blessings and having few words here and there. I hear a big applause and a person next to me tells me that Sai Baba has just manifested a necklace for a woman!?
Suddenly He turns around and looks straight at me from a long distance for few seconds. Those few seconds where probably the most amazing moments I have ever experienced. I knew immediately that He was the voice who spoke to me 3 times in the past and also that He his my Sadhguru, main teacher. Wow what a surprise! He is the last teacher I wanted to go and now that! Incredible.
Next day, exactly the same experience; He looks at me from far and again I just know He is my teacher and He will take care of me! From that moment on , all my senses seem to be a lot sharper. I look at a person just for a moment and I perceive their inner conflicts… it was so in the past too and now it just seems to have reawaken. This is a lot in only two days time!
I put all my plans of further travelling beside and decide to stay with Sathya Sai Baba.
On Christmas morning 2000, I was part of the first few persons (token 1 from many) to enter the mandir at around 5:00 AM, when suddenly Sai Baba arrives in the mandir. We were just 10-15 men and Him. Again He spoke to me, as it happened in the past 3 times. I could not see his lips move but I heard very clearly; “It was Me who gave you my picture last year for Christmas”. I was shocked by the intimacy and Love of His words.
How can He have millions of devotees and offer so much care and intimacy to a single person. I knew He is always with me.
During this period I am invited to see Devi Amma, a realized person who resides in Whitefield. She is known for her wisdom to many Sai devotees. She tells me many things but what especially took my attention was this: “You have incarnated to serve Sathya Sai Baba as a healer”. Was the palm tree reader in Bangalore right? I told Devi Amma that I don’t do any healing work and she responded; “Oh Yes you do, since many life times, you just haven’t started consciously in this one”.
I have a room on my own outside of the ashram. I lye on the bed and ask Sai Baba if He really wants me to serve Him as a healer. I tune into a person I know who has asked for healing and immediately appeared a little angel maybe one meter over my body and he says to me, “Your hands are our hands”. He stayed over me for some time and then disappeared leaving me in a shower of love until I fell asleep.
Sathya Sai Baba goes back to Puttaparthi. I follow!
After a week or so, I have my first dream with Sathya Sai Baba. He is telling me that He will take care of me until I have realized the Self and that it will be the most beautiful day of my life. All I wished was said in those few words.
Many more dreams will follow, all of them been far more vivid and powerful than life in the awakened state. I also started having dreams showing me images of what will happen in the future; first it was related to periods of transformation that my body/system will have to go through and then they became more and more elaborate, showing me very clear events and situations, sometimes to warn me of avoidable (or unavoidable) danger and also exactly how it would unfold.
Most of the time I would dream of persons, not in their actual body form but in the energetic form that they are manifesting in the moment; I would usually still recognize who it is because of a little detail like a ring or glasses for example.
I may dream of a Greek warrior who dies in great pain on a battlefield with an arrow in his lungs and often few days later a person will come for a healing, manifesting the same energy and symptoms than during this death. The warrior may also be me and then after some time, the trauma or memory will be released by the Grace of the guru.
For me it seems to work a bit like a computer; we download programs, write texts, make calculations or build a website and very fast we forget what we have done and all the place we have used on the computer and suddenly the system start to go slow until it may even collapse. Same in life or better, lives; we keep memories like traumas or attachments, likes and dislikes; they are stored in our system, life after life until we go a spiritual path that will slowly erase those memories until there is only place left for the Light! We may have promised something to someone a thousand year ago and the same promise could be the greatest obstacle in our actual life. Your teacher (if genuine) has access to those memories and if karma or Grace allows it, He will erase it to allow us to grow.
Probably the most amazing dreams I have are those with spiritual teachers. I can see and feel the love and compassion who is emanating towards the people they help. It is also very clear that their help is flowing constantly; God’s teachers may be asleep but they are fully active on an other level.
I have also seen many images about coming changes in the world; I will share few of the most important ones.
· the collapse of the monetary system (dreams starting in 2007); it will happen in May/June but I don’t know which year. France and Germany will abandon the Euro system ( and probably many or all countries, maybe even before them). The economic situation will be catastrophic. I know few Sai devotees who had dreams, where Sai Baba told them not to keep their Euros but to change them into Indian rupees.
· there will be a gigantic earthquake (dreams starting in 2001) (or/and a tsunami) in the Aegean Sea, probably near (or South of) the Islands of Nisyros and Kos. I think there will be signals before and the population will be asked to leave the islands or coastal regions. It will happen in the summer (July/August/September) but I don’t know the year yet. In 2005, Sathya Sai Baba gave an interview to a group of Greek people from the Dodecanese and He told them to leave the Islands. I had two more dreams in a week related to this event after I wrote this and a friend of mine told me remembering waking up from a dream screaming “earthquake!”.
· There is more about the US and catastrophes but I wait for more information before I share.
Back to healing: after the experience with the angel I felt confident to start giving healings. I first started with distance healing as it was very easy for me to sense someone from a distance. The first person was the wife of an Australian man in the ashram in Whitefield/Bangalore. I was lying on my back, tuning into this person and at the same time speaking while the Australian man was listening; it is very similar to listening to a radio. I remember the Australian man just repeating, Yes! Yes! Absolutely right!...
You will probably ask how can healing take place in an other person? First I need that the receiver is willing to receive healing or transformation. Then I start with a prayer and tune into that person. I surrender to the Light, the Angels and my guides, then an alchemy takes place (it is very similar to Vipassana meditation) where conflicts/blockages are brought into movement by been in a state of Presence/Awareness. Some of those blockages may have a physical manifestation like pain, distortion or disease but it is not always the case especially if the conflict is young. Most of the transformation take place on the etheric level which will then affect also other levels like emotional, mental and finally the physical. As it cannot yet be scientifically proven, I only try to translate my experiences (about 12000 sessions) into words.
Some symptoms are quite easy to recognize:
· First depending which side they are; left side been feminine and right side been masculine.
· Then depending on their position; front side, inside or back side. By experience, most blockages on the back which may manifest with long lasting back pain for example are connected with a karmic block or if you prefer an older active memory; pain, attachment, trauma, accident, etc... Those blockages are usually very powerful and even if you are unconscious of them most of your life, they may have manipulated you since that time. It could be a simple sentence like, “I will never again…”; you may have expressed those words a thousand years ago, it will continue to abuse your reality as long it is not released; here an example: one thousand years ago you were in a relationship and you have a child. Later the child has a disease and dies. The pain you experience is so profound that you express those words, “I will never have children again…” It is most probable that you will go in a relationship and will express a lot of fear or resistance to the idea of a child, and if a child is born, a lot of fear if it becomes sick.
· Then depending on the position within the etheric body. By experience you will very fast realize that all the points are reflecting similar stories who ever the person is. The left shoulder is linked with mother, power, control… The right hip masculine energy, sexuality, money and power and control too. The problems at chakra points are always linked with their signification.
· Then the energetic structure of the block; liquid, solid, metallic, composition (I know it is a bit strange, but I have experienced energetic structures going far beyond the physical body), unlimited possibilities actually!
· And then are all those other manifestations like entities, aliens, etc… some of them are very active and destructive. Danger zone! Also all the damages caused by drugs or some energy drinks who may take you out of your body or pain for a while. We can not buy Happiness; actually we are Happiness (covered with thousands of layers of illusions).
I am sure that some of you have experienced some of what I speak about. If you are sensitive and feel or wish to start helping others you must know that it is not without danger. All those symptoms or manifestations are active and not dead otherwise they would not be here.
From the moment you are involved as a channel in the alchemy of transformation you will probably feel side effects from a healing session, before, during and after. The after is not always the most difficult; for me it is the preparation. From the moment a person has booked a healing it will start to work. My body been only a channel or link for the divine to do His work , what ever happens is not depending on me. So if it is okay for you to feel a bit strange to even sick, it should only be, if your level of love and compassion has priority over the pain or discomfort you may feel.
The after can be very uncomfortable too especially if the person is affected by entities and even more by aliens; they are very smart and don’t like to leave! Why are they here? There are many possibilities like inviting them or just been lonely for example; you may be curious and you wish to connect with aliens. It will probably happen, mostly in an unconscious state during your sleep and you may even do some deals with them not knowing of the consequences and that makes it very difficult later to clean! Another reason for aliens or other weird stuff been in or attached to your body may be because of so called New Age workshops to connect with spirits or aliens. Please don’t do anything like that, the path to Happiness is not to have more but to have less.
If fear comes in then you are in danger to be infected and may need help yourself. More about healing later.
After few months in Puttaparthi I feel the pull to go to the Himalayas. The train in sleeper class and sitting most of the time at an open door (forbidden now) is my favorite travel experience in India. I can breath in all I see… I love India so much! Writing this I have images of rivers, bridges, people working in fields… beautiful!
The Himalayas. A must on a spiritual path! Sitting on the banks of the Ganges, the depth of Silence is so strong, hypnotic, it takes you within… you bathe in Light. And then the most powerful place I know in the Himalayas, Mount Kailash in Tibet. I will share later about those trips...
My first experience is the ashram of Hairakhan Babaji, north of Haldwani. I stay few weeks then I go to Patal Bhuwaneswara near Pithoragar. Patal is know for his Shiva cave. I hear of a Babaji (a common name for a sadhu in the Himalayas) who lives on his own on the top of a mountain at 25km from here.
I have only very few information's about the path and I can smell tigers. I am not at all scared of snakes for example but my system definitely has unpleasant memories with tigers. After half a day walk I reach the top of the mountain and the hut of Madodas Babaji. He must be about seventy years old with a body like a twenty five year old!
He invites to stay with him for a whole month. I love him so much. He has maybe two or three visitors from down the valley every week and they bring him food and milk.
The hut has no chimney and the smoke goes out where it can; sometime there is so much smoke that I cannot see the other side of the single room! It doesn’t disturb Babaji. I try my best...
We are in February and it is freezing outside every night. Practice starts a around 4:30 AM with mantras, then meditation, toilet, washing and breakfast. Washing is outside at minus temperature with maybe 1/2 liter of warm water. Toilet goes for me at lightning speed since I heard a tiger maybe two hundreds meters from the hut on the second evening! Babaji doesn’t care about the tigers and when we hear one, he just tells me the distance, and he goes his way as usual!
The day is spend in collecting wood, spiritual practice, cooking and the most important, drinking chai!
After a month with Babaji, my six months visa is almost finished and I leave for Delhi and flight back to Greece for an other season at the windsurfing school. I could imagine this life of six months India and six months Greece to go on, but I can feel that Sai Baba has other plans.
It is not my wish but Sai Baba guides me to stop the windsurfing school and it is also in this period that I have the first dream that a massive wave will come from the South an destroy everything in this area of the Dodecanese. Is it symbolic or will it happen in real life too, I don’t now?
In November 2001 I am back in Puttaparthi and stay in a dormitory at the ashram. I have surrendered my life to Sai Baba and with no more income I have to trust that He will arrange everything.
One night, while everybody is asleep, I hear a man crying in pain not far from my bed. After some time I decide to go to his bed and ask him if I can offer him some healing. I understand that he is Polish and does not speak English. I show him my hands and he nods okay. I stay with him for maybe one hour.
Next night the same happens again and I go to his bed and offer him my help. When I go back to my bed I can see a dozen of angels of different sizes gliding in the room, wow!
Next day I am invited by the group of Polish people to speak with a translator to the sick man from the last two nights. He is so happy that he ask me to help all his friends and later it became most of the persons in the dormitory (some of them are still coming to me for healing after more than ten years) and within a month it spread outside the ashram in Puttaparthi. After a month in the ashram I rent a room in the village. From that time I will have about one thousand healing sessions during a period of about six months every year, the rest of the time I spend in the Himalayas or visiting other spiritual teachers or places in India, Nepal or Tibet.
Update 2014: I am still in Puttaparthy most of the time. Sathya Sai baba passed away in spring 2011. I had dreams related to his departure so it was not too much pain, still the Big Lamp of Love is gone and I miss Him and His Love!
I also had few dreams of Sathya Sai baba coming back! Many people had. I try to focus on the Now or better, the Now tries to keep me in the Now.
Experienced lots of things; little and big gifts to keep motivated when it is to hard. Swami Gopala Krishna who I met in 2001 is always very present in my dreams. He used to give Poojas every Monday but He stopped (I guess because it is to hard to see us beggars full of garbage). To His request I went to Omkareshwar to bring Him a 9 inch lingam from the Narmada River. Gopala Krishna’s gift to me was a new energetic body at my return from Omkareshwar (good, because I was finished!)
He also invited me to do healing sessions when His new ashram is finished south of Bangalore.
Update 2018: Have spend few months with Mooji in Rishikesh 2015 and 2016… But I am still happy in Puttaparthi giving healing sessions.
To be continued. Probably in a book, but I am not ready yet!